


white gold

by sakusakym



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Break Up, Getting Back Together, I have a lot of feelings, Kuroo Tetsurou is a good ex boyfriend, M/M, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Tsukishima Kei is a Mess, feel good, good ending, kurotsuki - Freeform, kurotsukki - Freeform, law student tsukki, promise rings, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24113851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakusakym/pseuds/sakusakym
Summary: This time, he didn’t feel the need to stop the tears anymore, or even rub it off his face. The tears fell freely, from his cheeks to his neck, while a pained smile was on his face.Or, a night full of realizations led Tsukishima Kei to Kuroo's front door, months after their break-up.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 6
Kudos: 112





	white gold

_Political science is a pain in the ass_. That was the only thing Tsukishima Kei confirmed in his head while he briskly walked towards his apartment door at 7 pm. It was definitely a harbinger of stress and an uncertain amount of workload; but foolishly he enjoyed his major. It was everything he dreamt of after all. Logistics mashed with laws and a study of humanities. 

As he twisted the doorknob open, the scent of eucalyptus enveloped him as he saw the air humidifier he left on spewing mist mixed with the essential oil. The ambiance was familiar and a source of comfort after a long day. A long day of pestering his group mates about specific deadlines for their final thesis paper, a full day of running on sugar-free red bull and cold brew from the campus cafe.

Kei found himself automatically putting his bag down by his desk and sat on the couch. A simple 3-seater couch, plain black. Cotton. Something he learned to love, after Kuroo pestered him to get such a simple, not to mention mediocre, looking furniture.

Kuroo.

The certain man hasn’t passed his head for quite a while now. After all, he had been preoccupied with deadlines and last minute preparations for his graduation. But _fuck_ , he hadn’t thought of the man in days. 

Kuroo was a whirlwind, that’s what he was. He was spontaneous, but not too much that Tsukishima would get annoyed at. He liked to have fun but also had a certain limit to that where he knew education over anything. Tetsurou was a good match-up with Kei, for sure. He brought a silly grin on Tsukishima’s face when he was tasked to read 100 or more pages in one night, and even got the man shitfaced even if there was an essay back in the apartment that wouldn’t write itself. He was the type of person that could change your life without even trying. Kuroo Tetsurou was fucking unparalleled. 

Unparalleled to a certain extent, that is.

The 2 year Disney-esque dream Tsukishima let himself board on sank and once again he was dropped to the harsh reality of being alone. Without Kuroo by his side giving him a reassuring nod, without the warm hand squeezes when he felt anxious or uneasy. The life without Tetsurou holding him close the moment he woke, vision blurry without his glasses, but everything was vividly clear with Tetsurou.

It was all too much for his head to process, so Kei let himself cry. He hasn’t cried in a while, seeing as he was too busy gulping down iced americanos and desperately trying to catch up with deadlines, but for the first time in a month, he cried.

He let the tears fall down his face, salty drops smearing the lens of his glasses. He didn’t mind that a bit, honestly. It would usually tick him off but something about crying about his _ex_ felt so pathetic and stupid, the smeared glasses were out of the picture. But that’s what he was, in the situation at the very least. Stupid and pathetic; stupidly pathetic. _He_ was the one who broke up with Kuroo, so why the fuck was he crying about it? It’s been months, why was he even crying in the first place?

Was it because he missed the feeling of an arm draped over his sides, and the warmth that came with it when he slept? Was it because he missed the countless study dates they’ve had in coffee shops to the library, where both of them sat and relished each others’ comfortable silence? Or did he possibly miss the feeling of Tetsurou’s lips on his own after a long day of classes?

 _Fuck_ , he missed it all. He was definitely a fool for letting go of the only man he decided to fall for.

You see, Kei knew he was already hurt as it was but might as well go through everything Kuroo left behind now that he was in the mood for reminiscing about the what-ifs. With a frown on his face, he stood up slowly from the couch and walked over to the closet where he stashed everything Kuroo had in a box. He just couldn’t find the will in him to throw it out and sent all the memories to the back, hoping he wouldn't have to deal with it in the uber-near future.

The said box was there, a thin layer of dust on the top after months of disregarding it. He quickly brushed off the dust with his bare hand and plopped on the floor, opening it.

At the very top, laid one of Kuroo’s many high school volleyball jackets. _Nekoma_ was written in bold, white letters against the bright red fabric as Tsukishima adored it, a small and delicate smile on his face. Like if you touched him, he would crumble. The scent of Tetsurou was long gone from the fabric after sitting in a closet for weeks, but his fingers going through the details was more than enough to let the waterworks run through again.

This time, he didn’t feel the need to stop the tears anymore, or even rub it off his face. The tears fell freely, from his cheeks to his neck, while a pained smile was on his face.

Setting the jacket aside, he found Kuroo’s gift for their first ever anniversary. A leather bound notebook that had short letters, sometimes even poems, and random thoughts his ex-boyfriend would have for Tsukishima in the year they were together. One of the things Tsukishima wasn’t quite sure he was ready to read or more so even stare at yet, so he put it above the jacket for his own sanity.

There were a lot of items in the box. One of Tetsurou’s belts, a plain black leather one with gold accents, ball pens and highlighters he left on the study desk, a plain handkerchief, several silver rings.

Everything around Tsukishima screamed Kuroo. Before he knew it he was surrounded by items formerly possessed by Tetsurou and he could almost _feel_ Tetsurou’s arms around him as he eyed each item. 

The item Kei had been dreading to see finally came into view as he saw a plain velvet box laying at the bottom of the pile, the same it looked the time he threw it away from his sight.

He could feel his heart accelerate, and his breath hitch. Suddenly nothing mattered in that room but that box, the fucking box he constantly found himself wanting to return but never found the will to. Because it was the final fucking piece that would affirm the end of the relationship.

With much hesitation, he tentatively picked it up. It was light and felt expensive like it always felt. Once he opened the velvet covers, his world stopped.

Momentarily. But he knew everything stopped the moment his eyes found the white gold rings. 

Those weren’t engagement rings, god forbid Tsukishima knew both of them prioritized their academics over anything else and they were never hasty with the relationship. Throughout their relationship, Kuroo always _gave_. It was always Kuroo planning the spontaneous dates, always Kuroo giving Tsukishima flowers after midterms. It was always Kuroo who would make dinner, and it was always Kuroo who would go an extra mile and buy random things from the internet he thought Kei would absolutely like and need.

In the first time in their relationship, Kei bought something other than a fancy dinner or limited edition books for his boyfriend. He bought his boyfriend one of the most expensive rings found in the store, without hesitance because he loved Tetsurou that much that he promised.

The promise rings represented so much to Tsukishima. He was afraid of giving it to Kuroo for so long that it became too late. The rings symbolized the fact that Tsukishima wouldn’t leave, that he promises better days. That Tsukishima promises that Kuroo will be the only person he would ever love.

But all of that went down the drain when Tsukishima broke up with him.

Kei felt so fucking _angry_ at himself. Why did he even break up with Kuroo? It was stupid to break up like that. He was just having a bad day and lashed out on Kuroo, and Kuroo tried to calm him down. But somehow everything was too much for him. The room was warmer, it felt like he was suffocating and nothing was clicking that day. He let out all his emotions on Kuroo who didn’t deserve it one bit. So of course Tetsurou would be offended. He had every right to.

Before Tsukishima knew it he had asked Kuroo to leave his life that night. The next day he arrived from school, Tetsurou’s bags were gone, the majority of his clothes were gone (except for the few pieces Kei stored in his closet), and school materials were nowhere to be seen.

Tsukishima pulled out the rings out of the velvet box delicately, admiring the intricate details and the shine. The rings were beautiful, no matter what angle you looked at it. It suddenly felt so heavy, as if all the love he had were transferred to the inanimate objects.

“I love you.”

He felt his walls fall, and the anger he had against himself turned into regret. He’s done many stupid antics in his life, but this was the one that stung the most. That he regrets the most. Losing Kuroo Tetsurou was a fucking nightmare he couldn’t pull himself out of.

It seemed like even if he drowned himself in academics, even if he takes extra units to avoid any sort of conversation with anyone, he would still fall apart at the end of the day because Kuroo was no longer at home, waiting for his Tsukki to fall into his arms after a day of classes.

Tsukishima missed Kuroo so much. He missed the touches on his skin, the way Kuroo would put his hands under Kei’s sweaters and rub his thumb against his waist and back. He missed the feeling of the man’s breath against his neck while they slept. He missed the scent of Kuroo, all cleaned up and ready for another day. He missed the cocksure grin he always had, or the annoying smirk he couldn’t seem to get off his stupid mouth. Tsukishima missed Kuroo’s kisses, the kisses all over his body when they would get lost in each other.

_This is stupid._

He thought as he stood up fast, ignoring the sudden jolt.

“ _This is stupid._ ”

Tsukishima muttered as he put on a coat and slipped his loafers on, taking his car keys and locking the door behind him.

_This is stupid._

Kei repeated in his head as he entered his car and quickly drove out the parking lot into the road, the sun had set long ago and the moon was shining over the buildings and trees.

It seemed as if every inch of reason had left his body and led him to do something so foolishly impulsive that he couldn’t stop himself. This would probably not give him closure, in fact this would likely open wounds that were slowly healing and to have salt rubbed against the wounds.

But that still didn’t stop him from pulling up to a familiar street and turning off his car’s engine. Millions of thoughts consumed his head as he realized he was actually _here_. In front of a house he used to visit quite often, where he would hang out with others. 

Reality hit him.

He was really sitting inside his car, eight pm on a school night, in front of Bokuto Koutarou’s house. Tsukishima was in front of Kuroo’s new place.

Kei’s hands were shaking as he took his keys out the ignition and unlocked the doors. His hands didn’t stop shaking even after he closed the door with a quiet thud, and locked it. His hands were still shaking as he went up to the front door.

_This is stupid._

He thought for the millionth time that night.

_This is stupid. Stupidly right._

He finally caved and knocked on the door. His hands were still shaking, afraid of the consequences this impulsive act would give him. But it was too late. His car was parked, he had knocked on the door and he could hear footsteps approaching the door.

“Hey,”

Bokuto Koutarou stood in front of him with a friendly smile, but his tone was a bit off. Caught off guard and mildly surprised. “Hi.” Tsukishima greeted meekly, eyes meeting anywhere but Bokuto’s eyes. “Do you have to go see Akaashi?” Bokuto asked, polite as ever. Tsukishima felt shivers down his spine as he shook his head. “I…” He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t find the words to say it.

“Kuroo.”

He couldn’t bring himself to say anything else. Thankfully, Bokuto caught on and gave Kei a small smile. “Of course. Wanna come in?” He offered as he opened the front door wider, a grin on his face.

“I’ll wait here.” 

_This is stupid._

Kei sat down by one of the chairs on the porch, biting his lower lip, absolutely terrified of what could possibly happen.

Whatever happens, happens, he finally decided. This would give him the closure he deserved, and it was for the better. He tried convincing himself.

_This is stupid._

Tsukishima’s mouth parted as Kuroo went out the door and met his eyes, a small smile on his lips. “Tsukki,” he said, eyes crinkling slightly. Tsukishima felt like crying again, seeing Tetsurou in front of him wearing sweatpants and a tank top, hair disheveled as always. He wanted to hold Kuroo’s hand, since he couldn’t fucking believe it was really him. “Hi.”

Kuroo laughed at the tension. “What do you need? You wouldn’t call for me for nothing.” He said politely, sitting next to Tsukishima casually, like talking to your ex you haven’t talked to in months was the most mundane thing to do in the world. “I just dropped by to give you something.” Kei muttered, rubbing his palms together, nervous. 

Tsukishima pulled out the velvet box. “Before you say anything, I’m not expecting you to accept it or anything, you can tell me to throw it out if you want. But I just can’t go to fucking sleep knowing you never knew about this.”

Kuroo felt tears prick at his eyes once he saw the rings. They were simple and detailed, and it was a pair.

“Tsukki…”

“These are promise rings I wanted to give you but I was too late. It didn’t feel good that you never had the chance to see these.”

“Are these white gold?” He laughed as tears freely fell down his face, surprising Kei who was also crying.

“Yeah. You said you love white gold so. I. Yeah.”

Kuroo gingerly took the box out of Tsukishima’s hands. “I just want a look.” He said, eyeing the beautiful rings with admiration. Tsukishima could only nod as he choked on his sobs. Seeing Kuroo finally holding the rings was a relief he didn’t know he needed until now, and it was painful to look at.

“May I?”

Kuroo showed that he was going to pull it out the box, and Tsukishima only nodded, eyeing the man. Kuroo put it on with no hesitation, chuckling quietly when he wore the wrong one. He picked up the other and it fit his middle finger nicely, the white band hugging against his warm skin.

“Tsukki. It’s beautiful.” He said without any thought.

_This is stupid._

No matter how much he tells himself it was stupid, Tsukishima didn’t care. The both of them were crying already, and it was all too much to keep to himself. “I love you, Tetsurou.”

Kuroo’s eyes softened as his gaze transferred from admiring the ring to finally admiring Tsukishima. His eyes were swollen and it looked like he’d been crying for a while. His nose was a bit red, and his cheeks were stained by tears long gone from his face. 

Even after the mess he was in, Kuroo thought Tsukishima was fucking beautiful.

Tetsurou didn’t say anything, to which Kei felt disheartened. What did he honestly expect after telling Kuroo to leave? He was stupid, and this whole thing was stupid. Being impulsive was stupid and telling your ex you still loved him was stupid.

Until Tsukishima felt warm hands against his own, and a ring slotted on his middle finger. The white band looked good against his pale skin, to his surprise, but then realized. “Kuroo, what?”

Kuroo was crying heavily as much as Tsukishima was. Although the man was crying, he had a big fucking smile on his face looking at Tsukishima with admiration. “Tsukki, you know I would never stop loving you, right?”

Tsukishima felt his heart stop as Kuroo stood up and leaned his forehead against Tsukishima’s gently, afraid any sort of force would break the vulnerable moment. “I loved you back in high school, pined for you for months until you finally caught on with my feelings. I still love you up to this day even if we were both too fucking stupid not to talk to each other after months.”

Kuroo could laugh at everything right now.

“God, I missed you so much.” He whispered, eyes closing as Tsukishima was sobbing silently. He felt Kei’s body lean against his slowly, as he put his arms around the boy’s slender waist.

Tsukishima opened his eyes to see Kuroo looking calm and ethereal, like everything was alright. “I missed you.” Kei said, to which Kuroo gave a small laugh at. “I know you did.”

Without a second thought, Tsukishima pressed his lips against Kuroo’s and it felt like he was falling in love all over again. It felt like home, their lips against each other. It was soft, gentle and sweet. Rekindling a first love, starting a fire once again. 

_This is stupid._ Kei thought. _Stupidly right._

It was everything he could’ve wanted. Kuroo pulled him close if it was even possible, warm hands against his back. He could feel the man’s smile through the kiss, and he too was smiling like a madman.

Kei pulled away, blushing and staring into Kuroo’s eyes like a thousand possibilities came to view. He took Tetsurou’s hand and admired the ring. “It looks good.” He whispered, kissing his hand before looking back at the boy he loved the most.

“Yeah, it does.” Kuroo replied with a soft smile, eyes full of nothing but love towards Tsukishima Kei. Nothing mattered to him that night but the man in his arms. It had been months and this was the most he’d smile in weeks. 

Tsukishima Kei was back in his life and quite frankly, he had no plans of letting go.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaa its 3 am and i just finished this! ive always wanted to write abt krtsk and here it is!! thank you for reading <3


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